A Set Back for Women?

I often browse headlines and read articles that interest me or are important.  I came across this story when I was browsing CNN.com the other day.  I've been thinking about it a bit and what it means for women and for society in general.  The article discusses a trend for women, most of whom are highly educated, to stay home and be housewives.  These women do not have children.  It is a situation where they stay home and let the husband take care of them.  Of course in most cases, these are women whose husbands make a substantial amount of money.  I am generally not someone who cares what other people do, especially when it really doesn't hurt anyone.  However, I see this as a setback for women.  These aren't women who have their own money who are staying home because they don't need to work or who are going to school full time, or even who have some sort of health issue that prevents them from working (all of those scenarios have been going on for as long as women have been in the workforce).  These are women who have simply said they were stressed in their jobs and decided that they wanted to stay at home and do housework and let their husband support them.

 I think a couple of things when I read something like this.  First, I think about how this affects women and the cause for women as a whole.  While I'm sure every person, man or woman, has fantasized about being able to drop out of the workforce, the fact is that relationships can end.  No one plans for them to end, but they can and do.  What happens to that woman, then, who has been out of the workforce for years who suddenly finds herself single and jobless?  On the same thought of the effects this can have on the cause for women, we have to think how much of a struggle it has been for women to try to be treated fairly in the workplace.  It was common in the past for women to work only until they married and then they would quit working.  Because of this societal expectation, women were paid less.  A woman with the same education level would be paid far less than a man.  There is still an income gap today and I am not sure something like this will help that gap.  It will leave groups of highly educated women at some point possibly looking for jobs, and with gaps in their resume, it will likely affect their pay, furthering the gap in incomes.  I think companies may see this as an opportunity to revert back.  Why wouldn't they?  If the mindset of society is reverting, why would companies not fall in suit? 

Secondly, I can't imagine this sort of arrangement to be healthy over the longterm in a marriage.  I think it puts a large amount of pressure on one partner.  Think of the husband in this scenario.  His wife not working and his being entirely responsible for the survival of both people would put a lot of pressure on him to make more and more money.  Let's face it, in today's economy incomes are not rising so much, especially adjusting for inflation.  In the article, the woman being interviewed makes a statement that it was less stressful for her to not have to work and to not be in a job she wasn't happy with.  What about the man?  People are rarely happy in their jobs.  They may not be miserable in their job, but rarely does a person have a job they are bursting to get to every day.  Why is it that he should be expected to go to a job every day that he may be stressed about and/or dislike to support the woman's decision to stay home?  Longterm, this could cause resentment in the relationship.  Also, every woman who has ever been in a relationship with a controlling man knows they are out there and that you never truly know who they are until your living it.  This gives one person in the relationship an awful lot of control over the other.  I am sure that there are men out there who won't take advantage of this situation, but for every one out there that won't, there are two that will.  Even if initially the relationship isn't like that, longterm I could foresee the man in the relationship starting to get a sense of authority over the woman, if not because of resentment being built up over time, but simply because most people can't handle having that much power over others without feeling a sense of power, which eventually corrupts their nature.  It is a rare thing to find people who can have power and not be corrupted. 

Not everything about this trend is negative.  As the article states, one could see where the woman feeling less tension could make less tension in the relationship overall.  The man may feel less stress knowing that when he gets home, things will be in order.  Perhaps it could be not specific to just women doing it.  There may at some point be men who stay at home as househusbands while the wife works, thus making it more of a gender equal situation, preventing society from creating further stereotypes about the role of a woman.  Not everyone who does this is going to have a negative experience, so for some, it will work in their relationship (that doesn't mean the societal negatives aren't still in play). 

I will admit that I am fairly extreme in being independent.  I've been the woman who has had a relationship go sour in which I was being supported almost entirely by my ex.  I remember having to find a way to get out of my expensive apartment I couldn't afford on my own and try to find a box somewhere to live in that I could afford.  I remember having to forfeit on some of my bills.  I remember eating out of cans and Ramen Noodles and sometimes not eating but one meal a day.  I had a job, but not a high paying one.  Imagine if I had not had a job?  Sure, I survived and what didn't kill me made me stronger; however, I would never put myself through it again.  I am a mother and I would not be a stay at home mother.  I don't begrudge women who are stay at home moms, though I think children benefit from interaction with other children and don't think that daycare is the devil.  I think children benefit from time with their families as well; however, there are other ways to spend time with them.  I may be an extreme case of the independent woman, but that doesn't make my points any less valid to others who aren't the same as me.  

I guess only time will tell what, if any, effect this may have on the gender-bias already in play in society.